How love comes in. Love is similar in that we define it with a system of labels as well. Many of which are directly related to the system of labels we’ve made for emotions. Like, love, lust, long term, happy, depressed, disappointed, frustrated, angry, girlfriend, husband, spouse, fiance. These words are all universally accepted, but there’s a catch. Some of them have a broader range of meaning. Some are hard to even define. We’ve given them a name and don’t even really know what they mean. Others have different meanings by different people. your love may not be the same as my love, and it’s certainly not the same as a five year old’s love. But we all still use the word. I think that “I love you” is more meaningful then saying “Love you”, and I think that there is a big difference between “making love” and “having sex”, even in a closed relationship. But others might disagree. The big key here is that, not only is the system of labels and definition for love not entirely pinned down like math or chemistry, but that even in a relationship it is not the same across the board. When two people talk of math there is a specific outcome, and even in the extremely theoretical mathematics there are systems developing that are specific. My f(x)=2-b is the same as yours. With love, or specifically relationships, while there is a universal dictionary, the values are not always the same. I may love you “a whole lot” and you may love me “a whole lot” but in rough times your “whole lot” might not be enough for it to be worth it to stay. Mine may be plenty. This becomes a problem because we can’t balance these situations. If you do more of the dishes I can do more of the laundry and effectively balance the time and effort contribution of the relationship, but if I only love you so-so, you can’t balance it out by loving me “a shit-ton”. Our understanding of universal definition and balance-able concepts doesn’t apply to love, and I think this is why it’s considered a mystery.

What this means, I suppose, is that in order for a relationship to last each person defines their half; their 50%. I cannot define or value more then 50%, and I have no choice but to value at least 50%. I can determine what it’s worth, what it’s not worth, what I want and don’t want, but in the end, both 50% must be complete, and acceptable to their respective parties, for the relationship to continue. If I choose not to really know what I expect of the relationship, I’ve not valued my half. And likewise if you have determined exactly what your 50% is, or even have no idea, but deem it not worth it, no amount of compensation on my end will fix that. I can simply try to effect my 50% in the hopes that it will make you revalue yours, but in the end, we are each given the vote, and the answer must be unanimous or it won’t function.

Moral of the story… make sure you know what you want and don’t want. What you expect and don’t expect, what you’re willing to go lax on and what you are going to stick to your guns about. Make sure you know all these things, and then determine if you still want it. In the end, don’t try to make any decisions or value assessments on what you think the other person wants, or what is good for them, because you’re removing their option to choose, and forfeiting your own. Don’t base your decisions on what your parents think or your friends think, or whether it will be hard or easy, simply base it on what you think, what you want, what it’s worth to you. If both people do the same thing, and communicate these thoughts, then there can be no discrepancy or misunderstanding. No one has to be stuck in a relationship unhappy, and neither party will feel pressured, knowing that they get to make their choice entirely on their own.

I’ve been working at Douglas FIne Jewelery since August, and in that time I’ve learned a TON. I work with James Dixon, a master platinum smith, and our boss, Steve Douglas. It’s been great. I am now very familiar with our Roland MDX-40 cad machine, as well as Protowizard and interfacing that with Rhino3D. I am also getting very good at repair and fabrication using the laser welder, which allows us to not only fully assemble a piece with laser welds if necessary, but to tack elements together for soldering. I do most of the silver repair and fabrication, both custom work and stock items, and most of those have been up on facebook, though I’ll be adding images to my picasa gallery asap.

I have now extensively experienced fabrication and repair work with 14k yellow and white gold, 14k rose gold, silver, and copper. I’ve also done some cleaning and buffing on a few platinum pieces to take some of the work off of James.

I’ve learned what it means to enjoy going to work, and I’ve also gained a solid appreciation for the guidence that James and Steve provide. I’ve also found that I know more specifically where my interests are invested. Though the high polish “bridal quality” work we do 90% of the time is a good challenge and really requires a high degree of precision, attention, and skill, my love for the slightly rougher work that belies a reference to the process has been deepened. Being able to bring a piece to a high polish is excellent, and I can and will use that in my own work, but I am more drawn to the aesthetics and the qualities of “medieval art”. My precious metal of choice is still silver, though given the funds and the customer, I do like working with gold.

More to follow!

So, sorry for the rant, but I just wanted to clarify. I am not saying you should disregard your intuition in favor of following the trends, that would by hypocritical and backwards. I am simply saying, know the full breadth of the subject you are investigating before assuming completion. Does your intuition tell you to shoot energy out without regard for the source of that energy? When put in front of a 16 ton earth mover with 8 levers controlling various motions and enough horsepower to crush a large house, knowing that the pedal controls the forward motion of the tracks, does your intuition tell you to jump in and drive around, not knowing what the other 8 levers do, or just exactly how to turn the thing and not run something over? The problem is that human beings are, as an average of the whole, not educated/aware/in tune with the astral/ethereal plane, it’s something that you’re either very adept with, are trained to know, or must study/meditate/research/learn to know. Thus the problem with neo-pagans: they are trying to jump full into something without learning how it works. It’s the same trend in society as a whole; everyone wants the benefits and the privileges without the work, understanding, or effort.

Questions mean stimulation and activity and that means a lack of stagnance. Stagnance is the fuel of failure and destroyer of growth, and of course leads to the dark side;)

Intuition is reguarded by the pagan community is a tool of ones inner self. The inner self is a connective bridge between the physical person we are and the limited capacity of our current state to our complete self which -most pagan groups agree in one form of another- is an ethereal, timeless being. Theoretically we can access this Self, and thus ideologies like buddhism, shaolin, taoist, and native american belief systems form. Point is, use that shit, you we’re given it for a reason, and you can make up whatever reason you’re most comfortable with, but its a good tool.

Not only do we create words for things we don’t understand, but we create entire vocabularies, dialects, rules, and dogmas. And I agree completely. I sincerely believe that most human religions are simply self-fabricated idealologies used to explain something we can’t fully comprehend to develop some sort of self comfort, however misguided some of us get by doing so. And Religion does not equal spirituality.

And you should feel restless. Restless is another inner-self tool, alarm system if you will, to remind you that youre lacking something or have yet to complete a task. I had a huge spell of restlessness back near the last years of my time at a catholic private school, 7th and 8th grade, and by the time I started 9th grade in highschool I had found that the restlessness was religion and spirituality and I derastically stripped and rebuilt my understanding of self. It was a very long, painful process, because I met a lot of opposition along the way.

The thing is, and you can label it god, god/godess, shiva, buddha, the force, gaia, etc, but there is a greater energy/power moving through the universe, and it’s not that it can’t get to us, its that our current state is too weakened to hear the message (and this is not to say we cant become twice as great as we are, but even that elevated human-condition wouldn’t compare to our true selves), so this greater entity (we’ll use “the Gods” just because that’s how my particular brain works) communicates with us however we will recieve it best. But I totally agree with you, you have to want it. Like the cirstians say “You must let Jesus into your heart”.

Imperial science is a system of labels and “laws” defined by man to understand his surroundings. I find it best to use this as a tool of simplification. but to negate it in its entirity as I believe it hinders full understanding of the world. I love studying science because the way humans as a whole think is intriguing, but I don’t look to it as my first source of explanation in any situation.

In referral to the third, that eastern cultures already follow these ideas, I would point out that spiritual groups, such as native american, old shaman, traditional wiccan, etc, are cases of common spirituality with trends and commonalities but in fact each tribe, group, and even individual has his own personal relationship with this ethereal existence. Shamanism, for example, is more of a language for a people to communicate about their spirituality in a way that they will all understand and can grow as a tribe. Every tribe has different specifics, and yes there area lot of commonalities, such as what a wolf in a dream means versus a bear, but each person has his own relationship with each animal spirit, his own pulls towards specific ideas, and his own spiritual essence which he sends forth ahead of him and leaves behind him, that no one can copy. This is what I consider spiritual, whereas a christian church defining the beliefs and telling people to join and conform or die/suffer doom, sending out “what the pope has decided we believe” pamphlets every year, and shunning people that reject complete conformity is simply a man made creation of manipulation. Many “churches” are simply political entities working in a social network based on belief and fear and not actually functioning as a community, despite any over-tones and layers they put over the top.

Ok, skipping on to 2012. I might start by borrowing a quote from Morpheus in the movie the Matrix. In response to the other guy saying “Not everyone believes as you do, Morpheus.” he replied “My beliefs do not require them to”. If something is in the works, have a healthy dose of skepticism, but learn, watch, grow, and be open to accepting the new changes. Being of a stance to “not believe, but also not un-believe” is a very healthy position if it is accompanied by curiosity and a thirst for understanding.

Be wary of new-age spirituality. Shifts in the human-condition are one thing and are potentially good, but there are a lot of neo-pagans/new-age spiritualists that have studied old ways, taken the parts that they like, and ditched the rest. If you had the power to create a plant with your bare hands, and decided to only build the flowers because you liked them best, the plant would be corrupt and broken without its thorns and leaves, because those are functions of its exhistence in a material plane. Many neo-pagan/new-wiccan/etc groups are doing just that: taking the happy parts they like and neglecting the growth and knowledge and understanding that comes with it.

Just weed through the you-tube craziness and let your intuition guide you. You also have other tools: curiosity, skepticism, analysis, logic, creative thought. I also count ethereal connection, energy manipulation, and meditation/shaman walks as my Gods-given tools as well, and I do my best to use them all equally.

Youtube is actually, for this sort of research[2012], a good source of information. Thing is we tend to define “good source” and “bad source” as correct and incorrect information respectivly. But, considering the afore mentioned tools at your disposal, are you not capable of weeding through any information no matter how bizarre and decide for yourself? Don’t think of it as electronic, because electrons are simply aspects of the same energy you said was used to build everything anyways. THink of Youtube as a window into the day-by-day developments of our society. If one day you see 500 new posts on crop circles and the next day there are 1100 new posts on herbalism, you can gather not only information (for yourself to analyze) but you can look at the bigger picture. What does 1100 posts on reptilian monsters represent? A surge in population interest in potential conspiracy? An impending threat? Just weed through this massive tide of information with your critical self and your intuition to guide you and allows you to make fluid decisions when it comes to specific facts. Recognize that you are a constantly evolving entity, and that any form of concrete opinions or decisions will only hinder this. I get tied down by a ton of stuff but I am constantly trying to remove my restraints. If you find reptilians to be a semi-feasible idea, than take it in as your own with the recognition that of proven wrong or alternate, you can change your thoughts. It’s not wishy washy to feel that crop circles are legit one week and bullshit the next, it’s simply taking advantage of your capacity to grow at any given moment, at a whim.

I personally think DNA activation is legitimate. I think this because I know, as a personal point of fact that I have the capacity to evolve. I’ve gone through a few personal ascensions myself, though minor in relation to my true-self. I think a lot of the dormant dna relates to a complete use of mental capacity and the development of a greater connection to the ethereal plane. I connect with it when I can, and I have had many very wise people tell me that I had “ethereal tentacles that I feel out the world around me with constantly” but I can’t always get a full connection to it. I think we have that capacity on this planet, but we have lost the way, or possibly have not been granted it in this cycle of human existence.

Higher dimensional beings, from my experience, observe and guide us all the time, you just have to learn to be aware of the influence. I also feel that there are many lesser-being around us as well. I didn’t get a wolf tattoo on my arm because I thought it was cool, and if no one ever saw it I wouldn’t care. I got it because, to me, it represents a respectful reverence for a spiritual guide which has been at my side as long as I can remember, and likely before I even knew it was there. I made a permanent physical alteration to myself to mark, for me, an enlightenment in a part of me. The next part of my tattoo has the same value, as does my first. It’s a way of reminding/telling myself that I achieved something I can be proud of and that I should never forget it’s effect on my person. The thing is, the Gods express themselves in everything, and can become whatever you want them to be. It’s not out of a desire to please you though, it’s because we as humans currently require labels and definitions to feel safe and content, and the higher entities in the universe are offering a connection to them in whatever way we are most comfortable. Example: for all we know the same higher-entity that comes to my family as God the Father, Jesus Christ, could be the same Gods that come to me as the wolf Spirit, and the same God that the Mormons are communicating with. It’s equally possible that some of us (or all of us?) are completely off, but I sincerely feel that the population is evolving as a whole and that some of us have found connections to the next phase, and that regardless of the negative impact they can have, everyone has some semblance of purpose on this planet, however specific or vague or both.

Good news is my metalsmithing (black and silversmithing combined) stuff filled a 2 car car port, so I have a lot of stuff to play with and get working. Can’t wait to have some shop stuff set-up and ready to go. Have to finish a feast set for a Chaos Wars 13 prize, a dutch oven lid-hook for Chris Teeter, one of the few people who supported my interest from the get-go, and I think I owe Heather a trowel since I broke hers yesterday, hah. Good projects, good practice.

On other notes. Late post, but I didn’t get accepted for Tidefest. Near as I can figure it was a combination of a few things. I think the rush to get a lot of stuff done dropped my submission quality on my third item, but also I didn’t tailor my submission selection to what I could have guessed about the judges, and instead picked submissions that would fit in the show. Unfortunately I guess that wasn’t the best plan. Either way, I’ll still be doing administration assistance with Crew Moss, so all is not lost. And with my new found freetime, I will try and apply to the Bend Street Fair, and see if I can get into that next spring.

Lot’s of work to do!